I'm on maternity leave right now, and I've found the times when I'm nursing my son to be wonderful periods of "forced" margin. Even if I have laundry to fold, dishes to wash, and bread to bake, I have to take those moments to sit there quietly with him while he nurses. I've ended up reading a lot more because of it, and I value the quietness of those times—but I do often wonder why I have to be essentially forced into having these margins for reading and for quiet when I know how beneficial they would be even if I didn't have a nursing little one. Why would I otherwise feel so much pressure to be crossing things off of my to-do list at every moment of the day?
Great thoughts! This made me think of the Japanese word 'ma' which Hayao Miyazaki describe as the space...between claps. I think the world could use more negative space or as you referred to it...margin.
I think about "margin" in the senses you describe often in context of my household. I am married with two young children (and a third on the way), and I feel an absolute absence of margin most days - my days are like planner pages with writing overflowing the calendar boxes and filling every free bit of paper. My conviction for a long time is that our homes--like the workforces your discuss--are simply too small, too lean to offer margin and the flourishing it suggests. It's also one of the reasons Christians have mostly forgotten how to practice deep hospitality.
We have 3 young children as well (3 and under!) and have realized that we will never practice hospitality unless we just... do it. It has been a good practice so far this year of getting in the habit of creating margin for others as a normal rhythm. We are new in town and realizing how much we need to be proactive in friendship if it's going to be a reality. (Loneliness could also be considered a modern Margin Issue!)
Absolutely. In some ways, the merry chaos that children bring can be helpful for hospitality -- everything is already a little crazy, so why not welcome a little more crazy into it :-) And yes, being proactive in friendship is essential. Having a big garden in our front yard has been helpful -- it tends to slow down neighbors walking past, and gives me the chance to run up and introduce myself or invite them into the yard for lemonade. I'm sort of taking a lesson from the witch in Hansel and Gretel by "luring" neighbors over with pretty flowers and vegetables (but hopefully only giving friendship in return!).
It's certainly not the only way to be proactively present in a neighborhood, but it makes it so much easier. Praying that dream will be a reality for you one day!
Weirdly enough, I'm in my own shmita year. In lots of ways, it feels like an excess of margin, but it's given me room to read a lot more, to write in ways I had only dreamed about, explore new potential hobbies, and to pay more attention to the calendar.
This brings to mind all the changes many of us witnessed during the beginning of the pandemic. I noticed the “forced” downtime positively affected my family, our home, nature around us, and so much more. It brought a lot of peace and allowed us to notice a lot more that was happening around us. (I realize that was a privilege not everyone shared). I wonder what it would be like if extended margin were a part of our culture....
I'm on maternity leave right now, and I've found the times when I'm nursing my son to be wonderful periods of "forced" margin. Even if I have laundry to fold, dishes to wash, and bread to bake, I have to take those moments to sit there quietly with him while he nurses. I've ended up reading a lot more because of it, and I value the quietness of those times—but I do often wonder why I have to be essentially forced into having these margins for reading and for quiet when I know how beneficial they would be even if I didn't have a nursing little one. Why would I otherwise feel so much pressure to be crossing things off of my to-do list at every moment of the day?
I feel the same, and have often wondered the same thing! Thankful for those forced moments of quiet.
Who doesn’t need more margin? Thanks Gracey!
Great thoughts! This made me think of the Japanese word 'ma' which Hayao Miyazaki describe as the space...between claps. I think the world could use more negative space or as you referred to it...margin.
I think about "margin" in the senses you describe often in context of my household. I am married with two young children (and a third on the way), and I feel an absolute absence of margin most days - my days are like planner pages with writing overflowing the calendar boxes and filling every free bit of paper. My conviction for a long time is that our homes--like the workforces your discuss--are simply too small, too lean to offer margin and the flourishing it suggests. It's also one of the reasons Christians have mostly forgotten how to practice deep hospitality.
We have 3 young children as well (3 and under!) and have realized that we will never practice hospitality unless we just... do it. It has been a good practice so far this year of getting in the habit of creating margin for others as a normal rhythm. We are new in town and realizing how much we need to be proactive in friendship if it's going to be a reality. (Loneliness could also be considered a modern Margin Issue!)
Absolutely. In some ways, the merry chaos that children bring can be helpful for hospitality -- everything is already a little crazy, so why not welcome a little more crazy into it :-) And yes, being proactive in friendship is essential. Having a big garden in our front yard has been helpful -- it tends to slow down neighbors walking past, and gives me the chance to run up and introduce myself or invite them into the yard for lemonade. I'm sort of taking a lesson from the witch in Hansel and Gretel by "luring" neighbors over with pretty flowers and vegetables (but hopefully only giving friendship in return!).
A front yard garden is the dream! Love this.
It's certainly not the only way to be proactively present in a neighborhood, but it makes it so much easier. Praying that dream will be a reality for you one day!
Thank you, Gracey, for this sagacious and timely piece. I feel compelled to create more margin for myself.
Weirdly enough, I'm in my own shmita year. In lots of ways, it feels like an excess of margin, but it's given me room to read a lot more, to write in ways I had only dreamed about, explore new potential hobbies, and to pay more attention to the calendar.
This brings to mind all the changes many of us witnessed during the beginning of the pandemic. I noticed the “forced” downtime positively affected my family, our home, nature around us, and so much more. It brought a lot of peace and allowed us to notice a lot more that was happening around us. (I realize that was a privilege not everyone shared). I wonder what it would be like if extended margin were a part of our culture....